i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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