I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize