Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
