i already hear my dad disowning me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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