rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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