I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
