Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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