I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry about my life...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
