Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
