you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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