Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
