Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize