K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What a dumb baby whore.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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