i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
