I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize