Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
