i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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