mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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