Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
