She said her name was "party"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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