it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize