And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
