i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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