Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
how does that bad decision feel?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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