I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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