Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
