I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
