kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
