This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize