she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
