Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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