I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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