What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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