So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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