yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize