Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
