There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
