Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
