If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize