I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
