After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
