There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
