I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
