puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
