We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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