We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
