I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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