Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
