Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
