so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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