The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
