smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
