i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
one might say we're banned from that church
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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