oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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