He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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