Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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