You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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