me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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