I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
