Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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