She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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