We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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