Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
