are you still at the devil's house?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize