Kiss
Puke
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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