Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
