So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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