I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize