We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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