I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
