I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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