you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
