Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize