If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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