id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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